Skip to main content

Not my will

By April 12, 2010October 27th, 2010Headfirst, Personal

Why am I going back to Haiti again?  A third time?  Sometimes people assume that because of my heart for God or my heart for the lost, I’m just not like other people.  After all, everyone knows that missionaries aren’t normal.  We can’t relate to them because they’re just wired differently.  Maybe so.  Maybe not.  But I’m not going back because I would like to.  Actually, part of me wants to never go back.But I’m going back to Haiti because God is calling me to go back, and I want to follow and obey Him.  I have no interest in pioneering a modern day Jonah’s path.

I frequently write and urge myself and all of us toward freedom, yet it is the freedom to pursue Christ, not license to walk away from Him.  Jesus offered a very clear model of obedience to the Father against his own instincts.  He called his followers to carry a cross (e.g. Matthew 10:38, Matthew 16:24, Luke 14:27) and then didn’t want to carry his own (Luke 22:42.)  But He did.  Jesus was called to be a suffering servant.  But that doesn’t mean that he wanted to suffer.  Yet he found joy in obeying his Father and fulfilling His plan.

I am praying, asking – in full confidence – that God will strengthen me and give me His joy as I follow Him, in fact lead others after Him.  To Haiti.